Dr. Lori Bednarchik

Dr. Lori Bednarchik talks with students, not to them. Creating a judgement-free space, Lori hopes to have honest, uncensored, positive conversations about sexual assault prevention and healthy relationships.

Topics

▪Bystander Intervention ▪Communication ▪Fraternity/Sorority Life ▪Healthy Relationships ▪ Sexual Violence Prevention

Keynotes

▪Wanna Make Out? A Conversation About Consent
▪Is This Abuse? Or, Is It Just Me?
▪Can We Talk?
▪If Not You, Then Who?

Lori’s Bio

Dr. Lori Bednarchik is an award-winning college professor and program developer; certified health education specialist; professional speaker, and one of the nation’s leading experts on sexual consent and communication. For the past decade, she has worked closely with athletes, fraternity men, and college students across the country, challenging their norms surrounding relationships, consent, and sex. In the age of #MeToo and #TimesUp, and an increasingly divided discussion of sexual misconduct, Lori is a refreshing, uncensored, uninhibited, and positive voice.

Lori has a PhD in Human Communication from Arizona State University, an MPH in Health Education and Health Promotion, and BA in English and Gender Studies from The University of Maryland (where she was also a Division I athlete). She currently lectures at Arizona State University, California State University at San Marcos, Maryland Institute of Integrative Health, California Southern University, and National University.

Previously, Lori worked as a Health Educator at San Diego State University where she created several award-winning programs on bystander intervention education, and alcohol risk-reduction. She also re-designed and facilitated a Peer Health Education Program specifically for fraternity men on campus called FratMANers (Fraternity Men Against Negative Environments and Rape Situations). During her time at SDSU, she acted as Faculty Advisor to several fraternities, and was recognized as Faculty Advisor of the Year by Greek Life and the Associated Students two years in a row. She continues to volunteer with, and mentor fraternity men at several universities.

Lori lives, works, and plays in Mission Beach, San Diego, California. When not teaching, speaking, or writing, Lori, can be found cuddling with her Basset Hound Hobie, binge-watching [predictable] teen dramas, taking long walks on the beach, and on a never-ending quest for the best Happy Hour.

Connect With Lori

Always my super cute weirdo. ❤️🐶🤪

#bassethound #bassethoundsofinstagram #ilovemydog #unconditionallove @ Mission Beach https://t.co/NBHdIKf82P

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Keynotes

The vast majority of sex (and sexual activity) that students are having is consensual. So, what can other students learn from those who are doing it right? In a world where students are constantly being told what not to do…to say no, to recognize what a no is, isn’t, and might be…why not flip the script and consider communicating consent in a positive, fun, and sexy way?! Why not consider a model of consent that focuses on YES?

Many colleges and universities across the country are doing just this. They are adopting an affirmative standard of consent. What is so amazing about this new way of communicating (and thinking about) consent is that it recognizes that both women and men are expected (and capable) of engaging in sexual activity that is healthy, respectful, and mutual. Affirmative consent is defined as conscious, voluntary, active, and enthusiastic communication to engage in a sexual act. This way of communicating consent is ongoing throughout a sexual encounter, and focuses on an everyone’s wants, needs, and physical boundaries.

Though replete with simplicity, this way of communicating consent is not intuitive to students. Lori spends time not only helping students understand what affirmative consent is, and how to communicate it, but also addresses why communicating before, during, and after sex and sexual activity can be so challenging.

In the “Wanna Make Out?” program, Lori takes a unique, positive, uninhibited and uncensored approach to talking about sexual consent and communication. The focus throughout the program is promoting safe, fun, positive, and consensual sexual activity, and providing participants with specific and practical skills to effectively communicate to, and with their partner about sex and consent.

Learning Outcomes

As a result of attending this program, students will learn:

  • what affirmative consent is (and is not)
  • the specific and practical skills to effectively communicate affirmative sexual consent with their partner(s),
  • how to identify verbal and nonverbal ways of communicating consent in a variety of typical scenarios, and
  • the role that alcohol and other drugs play in communicating consent.
Is This Abuse? Or, Is It Just Me?

Unhealthy and abusive relationships are far more common among college students than we (and students) realize with nearly half of college women, and one third of college men reporting that they have experienced controlling behavior and/or abuse in a past dating relationship. Unfortunately, distinguishing between healthy, unhealthy and abusive relationships can be difficult for students.

If you are looking for a new, and engaging way to educate students about dating abuse and a more interactive experience where students can define healthy relationships in their own terms, look no further than Lori. With a PhD in interpersonal and relational communication, and decades of personal experience with healthy (and unhealthy) relationships, Lori provides students with research-based content using fun, relevant, practical, and real-life examples.

In this interactive program, Lori inspires and supports students to build healthy relationships and support a campus culture where abuse is not tolerated. The focus throughout the program is promoting safe, fun, positive, and healthy dating relationships, and providing students with specific and practical skills to effectively communicate with their partner, and how to set and respect their own, and their partner’s boundaries.

Learning Outcomes

As a result of attending this program, students will learn:

  • what dating/relationship abuse is, and the factors that contribute to it
  • how to differentiate between healthy, unhealthy, and abusive dating relationships,
  • how to clearly identify warning signs that they, or a friend are in an unhealthy/abusive relationship,
  • how to help/talk to a friend who is experiencing abuse, or being abusive in their dating relationship,
  • the specific and practical skills to effectively communicate with their dating partner, and
  • how to set relationship expectations and respect their own and their partner’s boundaries.
Can We Talk?

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and it’s particularly important in a dating relationship. Communication allows someone to voice the things that they like, don’t like, what pisses them off, and what they want to change about a relationship, and the same goes for their partner.

It sounds like the easiest thing in the world, right? Nope! It’s definitely not as easy as it sounds. Communicating in dating relationships can be one of the hardest things to do, particularly because there is a risk of saying the wrong thing, feeling embarrassed, starting a fight, or even losing the relationship completely. What students don’t realize, however, is that it is actually the lack of communication that is keeping them from having happy, healthy, fun, and lasting dating relationships!

Communication is a skill, and like any other skill it needs to be learned and practiced. Unfortunately, students are too often relying on the media, past (possibly unhealthy) relationships, their (usually inexperienced) peers, or trial and error to teach them the skills they need to effectively communicate to, and with their romantic partner.

So, here is where Lori comes in. With a PhD in interpersonal and relational communication, and decades of personal experience with healthy (and unhealthy) relationships, Lori provides students with communication strategies and tips that are grounded in research, but presented to students using fun, relevant, practical, and real-life examples.

The focus throughout this interactive program is promoting safe, fun, positive, and healthy dating relationships, and providing students with specific and practical skills to effectively communicate with their partner, and how to set and respect their own, and their partner’s boundaries.

Learning Outcomes

As a result of attending this program, students will learn:

  • the specific and practical skills to effectively communicate with their dating partner
  • how to resolve conflicts in a healthy way,
  • how to talk about sex and intimacy with their partner, and
  • how to set relationship expectations and respect their own and their partner’s emotional, physical, and digital boundaries.
If Not You, Then Who?

Most problematic behavior on college campuses (e.g., binge drinking, drug use, hazing, sexual assault, dating violence, discrimination, depression/suicide) involve bystanders. The bystander effect is a phenomenon that refers to individuals not offering help in an emergency situation when other people are present.

Students have both personal and community responsibilities. This means not only taking care of themselves, but also taking care of others. In order to keep everyone safe, it is imperative that when students see something, that they do something!

In this program, Lori focuses on helping students identify risky or potentially harmful situations, empowering them to assume personal responsibility to take action, and brainstorming and practicing indirect and direct ways to safely and positively intervene so they can step up, step in, and speak out!

Learning Outcomes

As a result of attending this program, students will learn:

  • how to define bystander, and discuss why bystander behavior exists.
  • how to identify and describe the stages in the process of moving someone from inaction to taking a leadership role,
  • the strategies and techniques needed to effectively and safely intervene in both emergency and non-emergency situations.