On December 14th, 2020, my 42nd birthday, so many thoughts filled with gratitude ran through my mind. As I sat in solitude on the beach in Cabo Pulmo, Mexico looking at the endless waves in the Pacific Ocean, I reflected in a way that I never have before. There I was with not one worry in the world, while millions of people were suffering in ways that could only be described through experience. How did a kid that was raised by a single mom in the inner city of Brooklyn, New York, escape the web of anxiety, confusion and discomfort that the events of 2020 pulled out in so many across the globe?
The three R’s.
A similar scene on a beach in February 2009 led to the path that I’m currently experiencing. My girlfriend at the time took a picture of me standing in front of the Caribbean Sea in Puerto Rico. A few of the major differences from the two beach scenes were as follows:
- In 2009 I was 320 pounds and I’m 178 pounds as I write this.
- In 2009 I worked for a company and now I’m approaching my 8th year of retirement.
- In 2009 I thought that a woman by my side completed me and in February of 2021, I will be celebrating year five of complete celibacy, while being happier than I’ve ever been in my life.
- In 2009, my main way of providing service benefited my personal gain and since 2013, I’ve written eight books and helped thousands of people become better versions of themselves.
Now back to the three R’s that led to my enlightened path. After that trip in Puerto Rico, while sitting in my girlfriend’s home, she was showing our pictures to her best friend and when I saw how out of shape I was, I asked myself this question. “Kinja, how will you be a husband and father in a progressive household, if your health habits are so irresponsible?” I made a choice on that day to RESET my entire way of looking at food and working out. Are there any results in your life that you know are built on a faulty foundation?
In 2013, due to my 2012 sales performance, I received two international awards that gave me the title as 2013’s number one sales executive in the world. In April, within two weeks after winning the second award, I started getting requests from companies to share my approach to communication and performance mastery. By October 12th, 2013, I made the biggest decision of my life. I resigned from my sales career because my love for teaching outweighed my desire to sell. My first book was released in January 2014. My leap of faith caused me to RESTART my entire life path. Since October 13th, I’ve experienced levels of emotional fulfillment that I didn’t think were possible in one’s life. Are you dedicating your life to becoming an expert in your craft or doing what will simply get you by?
In 2016, due to my travel and speaking schedule, my best friend/girlfriend at the time gave me some news that completely pulled the rug from beneath my feet. With the mixture of our relationship turning into a long-distance situation and the fact that I was just starting a new life phase, she felt that it was best for us to take a few steps back within our relationship. I completely understood her frame of thought, but the pain stayed with me for several months afterward. During the transition I made a commitment to RECONNECT with myself instead of focusing on seeking another relationship. What started off as a day by day journey has turned into greater connections with family/friends, an increased self-confidence, five more books, a short film, a play and an online training program. What have you become dependent on to provide your happiness?
Where would I be if I never incorporated the R’s in those situations? Honestly, I don’t even want to think about it. Personally, I believe that my three R’s have trained me for what has taken place in 2020 and due to this lifestyle built upon Resetting, Restarting and Reconnecting daily, drastic change caused by inner growth becomes habitual. If anyone allows the “constant worries and normal habits” within our humanity to guide their life’s direction, based on my experience, the results will be similar to the HLG’s (holistic life grades) of the majority. As a college student as your world is being created, it is easy to get lost in the storm of worries that parents, peers and breaking news focus on, but guess what, life goes on, and after the smoke clears, how strong will your life’s foundation be? In the long run, the answer to that question will be dependent on how well you can Reset, Restart and Reconnect with whatever life throws your way.