3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Setting a 2026 Goal
3 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Setting a 2026 Goal
We are officially through January. For some, the initial “New Year energy” is already starting to fizzle; for others, the pressure of everyone else’s resolutions has felt so overwhelming that you haven’t even started yet.
If you’re sitting here on January 13th feeling “behind,” I have a secret for you: it is not too late. In fact, setting a goal now—once the frantic noise of January 1st has died down—often leads to a much more intentional and sustainable path forward.
As a therapist, this is where I usually ask people to pause before choosing their next goal. Instead of rushing into a new habit, ask yourself these three questions:
1. What am I afraid will happen if I don’t improve this area of my life?
Go past the surface answer. Not “I’ll be unhealthy” or “I’ll fall behind.” What’s the deeper fear? Is it…
I’ll disappoint people
I’ll be judged
I’ll feel out of control
I’ll confirm a story I already believe about myself
I’ll be stuck like this forever
A lot of goals aren’t pulled by desire, they’re pushed by fear. And when fear is driving, the goal usually turns into pressure, rigidity, or self-criticism instead of growth. Name the fear. That alone softens its grip.
2. What would “good enough” actually look like here?
Not the ideal version. Not the best-case scenario. Define the version you could sustain on hard weeks, low-energy days, and messy seasons.
If “good enough” still requires constant discipline, zero mistakes, or never falling off… it’s not good enough. It’s just perfectionism in a socially acceptable outfit. Define the floor, not just the ceiling. That’s how goals become supportive instead of endless. Most people don’t fail goals because they lack willpower; they fail because the goal was built on fear and undefined standards.
3. What problem am I actually trying to solve?
A lot of goals that sound like discipline, productivity, or “getting healthier” are really attempts to manage burnout, disconnection, or feeling out of control.
When the real issue isn’t named, the goal rarely delivers the relief you’re hoping for. Instead of asking what you want to achieve, try asking what feels most uncomfortable right now and what you want this goal to fix. Honest goals tend to be the ones that actually stick.
A New Perspective for 2026
What would your goals look like if they were meant to support you, not fix you? You have the rest of the year ahead of you. Whether you start today, tomorrow, or in February, the best time to start is whenever you can approach yourself with a little more honesty and a lot more grace.