Why Men Are Essential to Ending Sexual Violence
For nearly fifteen years, I’ve traveled to college campuses, schools, and communities across the country delivering a program called Rape Culture: A Survivor’s Perspective. Over hundreds of keynotes and workshops, one core truth has become clearer to me than ever:
Men are not inherently bad. And making men the enemy will NOT prevent sexual violence.
When high-profile assault cases dominate the national news cycle, the instinct in public discourse is often to build walls, assign collective guilt, or revert to rigid, compliance-based checklists. But real prevention—what practitioners call primary prevention—demands something far deeper.
We need men in this work. Not ashamed of their power, but empowered to use it well.
“Primary prevention asks us to intervene before the assault by RE-humanizing one another, cultivating empathy, teaching embodiment, talking openly about sex and intimacy, and creating cultures where men hold their friends to the same standards and values they hold themselves.”
— Brittany Piper
Rethinking Primary Prevention: From Reaction to Re-Humanization
Traditional prevention efforts often focus on crisis response, risk reduction, or legal compliance after harm has already occurred. While crisis support and accountability are critical, true prevention happens long before a boundary is crossed.
Primary prevention asks us to change the cultural soil in which harm grows. It requires:
- Cultivating Empathy and Embodiment: Helping young people recognize their own emotional boundaries and respect the bodily autonomy of others.
- Normalizing Open Conversations: Removing the shame and taboo around conversations about sex, intimacy, and healthy relationships.
- Peer Accountability: Equipping men to hold their friends to the same standards and values they hold for themselves, transforming bystander intervention from a formal rule into a peer culture.
If we want to stop violence before it starts, we have to talk about what healthy intimacy actually looks like—including pleasure, consent, pornography, and interpersonal cues. If we avoid these conversations, our children still receive a sex education; we’ve simply handed the curriculum over to culture.
Recommended Resources for Prevention & Consent Education
Whether you are an educator, campus administrator, practitioner, or parent, starting these conversations requires the right tools. Here is a curated reading and resource list to support age-appropriate education at every stage:
For Boys & Young Men
- Lads: A Guide to Respect and Consent for Teenage Boys by Alan Bissett
- Respect by Inti Chavez Perez
- Boys & Sex by Peggy Orenstein
For Parents Raising Boys
- Talk to Your Boys by Joanna Schroeder and Christopher Pepper
- How to Raise a Boy by Michael Reichert
For Younger Children (Early Prevention)
- Jayneen Sanders’ body-safety and consent books, including the Little BIG Chats series.
(Key takeaway: Start conversations about bodies, boundaries, consent, and safe relationships early—not when children are already teenagers.)
For Understanding Campus Sexual Violence
- Documentary: The Hunting Ground (A vital look at the systemic realities of campus sexual assault and student advocacy).
A Note to Survivors
To survivors watching another news cycle dominated by high-profile assault cases: I see you, and I’m sorry.
Triggering national headlines can re-open deep wounds. You deserve a world that is not only invested in responding compassionately to what happened to us, but relentlessly committed to preventing it from happening to anyone else.
Bring Trauma-Informed Prevention to Your Campus or School
Preventing sexual violence requires actionable programming grounded in forensic neurobiology, somatic healing, and practical empathy.
Brittany Piper provides keynote presentations, staff training, and workshops tailored for higher education campuses and K-12 communities.