Be the Leader Who Actually Listens
I’ll be honest with you – I wasn’t always a great listener.
In college, I was that student leader. Director of this, chair of that, always running between meetings and
classes balancing coffee and my laptop in my hands. I thought being a strong leader meant being
everywhere with the best ideas and the clearest vision. While clarity and vision are important, I realized
somewhere along the way (thanks to reflection and mentors), I was doing a lot of talking… and not nearly
enough listening.
Now, years later, I’ve worked with tons of students, organizations, and professionals, and I can tell you
the best leaders are the ones who know when to pause and listen. Not pretend to listen. Not wait for
their turn to talk. Actually. Listen.
Here’s what I’ve learned, what I wish I knew back then and what I am still practicing today:
1. Listening isn’t just hearing. It’s being present.
When someone’s talking, are you already planning your response in your head? (Guilty as
charged, here.) Try letting their words land first. Make eye contact. Nod. React. Let a little silence
hang after they speak. That silence? It’s where the best conversations begin and ideas are
formed.
2. Don’t listen to fix. Listen to understand.
Your peers might not need a solution – they might need to feel seen. Try asking, “Do you want
advice or just someone to hear you out?” Game changer – in both organizations and in your
friendships.
3. Reflect what you hear.
Try something like, “So what I’m hearing is…” and repeat it back in your own words. Not only
does it show that you’re engaged, but it also gives them a chance to clarify if something got lost.
4. Check your face. Seriously.
I learned the very hard way that my face says A LOT, even when I’m silent. Raise your eyebrows
(positively), smile, nod. Show with your face and body that you’re tuned in – not checked out or
immediately judging what they are saying.
5. Listening builds trust faster than talking ever will.
People feel most respected by leaders who make space – not take up all the space. If you’re
leading an organization or team, consider: Are you the one always speaking first? Or are you
creating moments where others feel safe to speak up and share ideas? Organizations thrive
when they create moments together.
Want to practice? Here’s your Listening Challenge for the week:
- In your next meeting, don’t speak for the first 5 minutes or immediately speak during group
discussion. Just observe. - Ask one person, “How are you, really?” and listen without interrupting.
- At the end of the day, reflect on a conversation where you practiced being present and what you
learned.
It’s simple, but it’s not always easy. It takes practice, but it’s worth it.
You have what it takes to be the leader who actually listens.
Learn more about Austin by visiting his webpage at https://campuspeak.com/speaker/austin-arias/
Interested in bringing Austin Arias to your campus? Complete our event form to get started on planning his visit!